You know what’s awesome? A friend finding my self-portrait for sale in someone’s Photobucket album, me reporting it, Photobucket deleting the photo and replacing it with a red box reading, “This image or video violated our terms of use,” or what I like to think of as The Little Red Box of Shame. I wish every site had those little red boxes.
Setting aside my doubt about the validity of this story —- if you can’t afford to buy dog food, you shouldn’t have a dog, a baby and another baby on the way. Also, I suspect the reason your baby daddies walked out is because you’re the kind of freak who breastfeeds her dog, takes pictures and posts them on the internet with the rationalization, “Don’t knock it till you try it.” How the hell are they supposed to explain that to their friends and family? How the fuck are they supposed to explain it to the authorities?
She: Displays glittery snot-filled tissue.
He: “You snorted glitter?”
She: “No. I deliberately inhaled a unicorn fart.”
He: “There’s something wrong with you.”
She: “Don’t hate on me for my athleticism. I had to chase that mythical creature for an hour before he let loose. They’re not as gassy as you’d think.”
Want to hunt puppies? In Brantley county, Georgia, all you have to do is trespass on an animal rescue’s property with a loaded firearm and start shooting. Cops won’t do anything if you say the puppies were attacking your geese. On the rescue’s property. With no proof.
Way to support shitty stereotypes about the south and cops.
The human brain is a trip.
Click here if the video above doesn’t cooperate.
Yay Brigid!!